Last night I found this thing I wrote a few years back. Please note that it’s not intended to be taken seriously, just something goofy I came up with for my own amusement.

Zero-point energy is the lowest possible energy level of a quantum mechanical system like a particle in a box. The kinetic energy of the system may be zero if the velocity of the particle is zero. However the uncertainty principle implies that if the velocity of the particle is measured with certainty to be exactly zero, then the position of the particle is infinite. This either means that the particle isn’t necessarily in the box (which violates the rules of the experiment) or that there is a new type of potential energy in the box. Since science doesn’t want to get into anything like that it is simply said that the velocity of the particle can never be exactly zero.

My office here at work could easily be considered a box and yet I have a zero energy level most of the time. Since my velocity is exactly zero then I must infer that either I am hallucinating and am not actually in my office at all, or that I am a perpetual motion machine, tapping the infinite energy of sitting absolutely still.